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11 Creating Clear Sentences

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Creating Clear Sentences Chapter Opener

Start-Up Activity

Torment your students with sentence fragments. After the bell has rung and they are all seated, get their attention and begin class with the following fragment:

"When I created your next test"

Then just stand there. Your students will stare at you quizzically. More assertive students may ask, "Yeah? When you created our next test, what?" Answer using another fragment.

"One hundred questions"

Again, you should be greeted with confused stares. "What about one hundred questions?"

"A curve"

"What about a curve?" they will ask in exasperation. Finally, you can let them in on the problem: "I've been speaking to you in sentence fragments. They are not complete thoughts, which is why they are so aggravating. You want the rest of the sentence so you know what I am talking about. That's how important sentences are. They are the smallest form of a complete thought. Getting them right lets you communicate with your reader. Getting them wrong leaves everyone confused and annoyed.

"By the way, on your next test, a hundred questions, a curve"

Your students will be very dismayed by this final fragment, which will help you teach them the importance of complete sentences.

Think About It

“Fix this sentence: He put the horse before the cart.”

—Stephen Price

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Sentence Review

Help your students realize that a sentence has two basic components: a subject (what the sentence is about) and a predicate (what the subject is or is doing). For those who are science minded, point out that the subject is matter (people, places, things) and the verb is energy (actions or states of being). Just as physics describes the whole universe in terms of matter and energy, English describes the whole universe in terms of subjects and verbs.

Also, for those who like math, point out that and is like +. The things it joins are added together, whether they are subject, predicates, phrases, or clauses. Compound subject are just two or more subjects joined by and or or, and compound predicates are two or more predicates joined the same way. A simple sentence can have a compound subject, a compound predicate, or both.

See also "Understanding Sentences" in the "Proofreader's Guide."

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Basic Sentence Patterns

These sentence patterns help all writers, but especially English language learners. English sentences are based on the order of words rather than their endings (as happens in many languages), and the order of words in English differs from that in Spanish, German, Russian, or Chinese. Native English speakers will naturally put words in their correct order without thinking (or knowing why), but English language learners need to understand the sentence structures that work in this language. (Native speakers will also benefit from knowing the why behind their language choices.)

This page shows the basic sentence patterns for indicative sentences (statements). Interrogative sentences (questions) have a delayed subject, and imperative sentences (commands) have an implied subject, so those structures will be addressed separately.

English sentences are generally direct, going from subject to verb to something else in the predicate. An action verb (the first four examples) can simply say what the subject is doing (example 1) or can transfer action from a subject to a direct object, an indirect object, or an object complement (what the subject is doing to what, to whom, or for what, for whom).

A linking verb works like an =. It says that the subject = something else. Sometimes, the linking verb connects the subject to another noun or pronoun that renames it:

He is a doctor. (He = doctor.)

Sometimes, the linking verb connects the subject to an adjective or a phrase that functions as an adjective, describing the subject.

He is happy. (He = happy.)

He is at the hospital. (He = at the hospital.)

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Sentence Errors

Sentences are the train cars that carry the freight of ideas. As long as sentences are correctly formed and linked to each other, the writer's ideas arrive in the mind of the reader. When the sentences have problems, the train of thought breaks down and the ideas are lost. So, correcting sentence errors isn't so much about eliminating mistakes as it is about making sure that the writing delivers its ideas quickly and efficiently to readers.

Lead your students through the sentence errors on this page. Show how each type prevents the ideas from coming through clearly.

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Sentence Agreement

Subjects have to agree with their verbs in number (singular or plural). Basically, there should be one s between the subject and the verb (boys play or boy plays). Students will be happy to find out that sentence agreement is an issue only in present-tense sentences, not in past tense (boys played or boy played) or future tense (boys will play or boy will play). This page and the one that follows focus on the tricky sentence agreement issues that arise.

Lead your students through the rules and examples on this page. Help them understand that and works like a + sign, which is why it makes subjects plural. An or does not add two subjects, but instead separates them, meaning that the verb must agree with the nearer subject.

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Unusual Word Order and Indefinite Pronouns

Help your students understand that, though most English sentences follow a subject + verb + object pattern, sometimes the subject follows the verb. To ensure subject-verb agreement, the writer needs to be able to find the subject and verb even in these odd situations. (Again, subject-verb agreement is a concern only in present-tense sentences.)

Indefinite pronouns provide a special challenge. Many are singular, but because of our wish to avoid sexism in language, we've routinely used they in spoken English to refer to singular indefinite pronouns like everyone or somebody.

Spoken English: Everyone must bring their own pencil.

Though some news agencies (such as The Washington Post) have adopted this use of they or their to refer to singular indefinite pronouns of indeterminate gender, that usage is not universally accepted. Traditionally, we use alternate singular pronouns (his or her or her or his) to refer to singular indefinite pronouns.

Alternate pronouns: Everyone must bring her or his own pencil.

However, changing the antecedent to plural allows a plural pronoun, which does not ruffle anyone's feathers:

Plural revision: All students must bring their own pencils.

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Sentence Problems

This page and the one that follows detail problems that can derail sentences and make them hard for readers to understand.

To help students understand the problem of wordiness, tell them readers want a high meaning-to-word ratio. In other words, if you have one idea and use one word to express it, the idea is very strong:

Ferrari

If you express the same idea in two words, the idea has less strength:

sports car

If you express it in three words, the idea is further reduced.

fast sports car

Most students would agree that a Ferrari is much better than a fast sports car.

The other three issues on this page relate to pronouns. These little words are great for replacing nouns or other pronouns, but not when they are unneeded (double subject), don't agree with their antecedents (subject-verb agreement error), or do not clearly refer to a specific antecedent (unclear pronoun reference). Correcting these errors makes reading easy and understandable the first time through.

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Sentence Problems (Cont.)

This page outlines four other problems that can occur with sentences. The first issue relates once again to pronouns, very helpfu when clearly and correctly used, but troublesome otherwise. Help students understand that pronouns need to retain the same person (first, second, or third) as the word they replace.

The second problem focuses on double negatives. Though they have cropped up in our language from the time of Shakespeare and before, they are considered nonstandard and should be removed. Everyone knows what you mean when you say, "I don't have no problem working overtime," but few employers would hire someone who wrote that sentence in a cover letter.

The third problem again comes from speech. Because we pronounce "should've" as "should of," some students will be tempted to write it that way. Help them remember that 've is a contraction for have.

Finally, the page deals with misplaced modifiers. These problems make meaning unclear, often to the amusement of the reader. Show your students this example:

We saw a buck and a doe on the way to marriage counseling.

One wonders what has gone wrong in the marriage of the buck and doe to send them to counseling. That's because the prepositional phrases "on the way to marriage counseling" appear next to "buck and doe" instead of "We saw." Because the sense of English relies upon word order, placing modifiers far from the words they modify creates confusion and sometimes humor. The way to correct misplaced modifiers (which appear to modify the wrong part of the sentence) or dangling modifiers (which modify nothing in the sentence) is to position the modifier right next to the word it modifies.

On the way to marriage counseling, we saw a buck and a doe.

To further drive home the point of misplaced modifiers, ask students to insert the word only into the following sentence.

She said she loved him.

"Only she" means that no one else loves him. "Only said" means that she just said it but doesn't actually love him. "She said only she" means that she knows she is the only one who loves him. "Only loved" means that though she loves him, she probably does not like him. "Only him" or "him only" means that he is the only one that she loves. The word "only" often appears too early in sentences, modifying the wrong word, creating humor, and causing confusion. The placement of modifiers matters, especially if you are the "him" waiting to see where she puts her "only."

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