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08 Revising Your Writing

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Revising Your Writing Chapter Opener

Start-Up Activity

Ask your students, "Have you ever been in an argument with someone, and you walk away only to think of the perfect reply too late? We've all had that experience. In fact, the French have a name for it. They call it 'Thinking on the stairs.' Wouldn't it be wonderful if you could go back to the argument and say exactly the right thing at exactly the right time?"

"That's what revision lets you do. It lets you go back to your 'arguments' and add in the exact thing you should have said, and cut out all of the things you wish you hadn't said. It lets you go back and rework ideas until they sound just right, and put things in a different order. When you revise, you take your best thinking and put it all in one place."

Think About It

“A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument levelled against him, becomes confused and can only think clearly again [when he reaches] the bottom of the stairs. [L'esprit de l'escalier]“

—Denis Diderot

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Keys to Effective Revision

Have your students silently read through the keys on this page. Afterward, lead a discussion, asking "Why?" for each key. If students can understand why they should pace themselves, they will be more likely to follow the advice.

Review the special revising tips at the bottom of the page. Emphasize the last one. Even if students are working digitally, they should save each revision by appending a number to the file name (KeeneExplan1, KeeneExplan2, etc.). Doing so allows students to go back if they make a mistake. It also keeps a record of all the stages of changes. Perhaps most importantly, it frees students to make big changes without the fear that they will "mess things up."

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Using a Basic Guide to Revising

Help students understand that revising isn't a "one and done" activity. As you lead them through the revising process on this page, point out that they will make a number of passes through the material. First, they read the whole from start to finish. Then they look at the big picture—focus and support. Then they look at specific parts and rework them. Then they make sure the ending works well. That's a least four passes, but sometimes revision includes many more. Let them know that's how it should be. Revising is like brushing tangles out of your hair. You don't stop with one swipe. Instead, you keep working it until everything is smooth and clear.

Cover the tips for revising for timed writings. Show students that even during on-demand writing assessments, they should do a little basic revising.

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A Link to the Traits:

Revising for Ideas

Tell your students that revising is first and foremost about the ideas in a piece of writing. If the topic is bad, the whole piece might be in trouble. If the focus is too broad or too narrow, extensive revisions will be needed. If the focus does not have enough specific support, the essay will feel weak and unconvincing. Until the ideas are right, no other revisions matter. Why worry about reorganizing ideas that need to be cut or reworked? And how can you organize ideas that haven't been added yet?

Have a volunteer read aloud the unfocused paragraph in blue. Then lead a discussion:

  • What is the writer trying to do? (The purpose is unclear.)
  • Why is it so hard to know what the writer is trying to do? (The details do not relate to each other, and there is no focus statement.)

Next, have a volunteer read aloud the focused paragraph in black. Discuss how the revisions have improved the focus.

Afterward, ask a volunteer to read aloud the paragraph with general details (in blue), and then the one with specific details (in black). Lead a discussion about how each type conveys the writer's purpose and connects to the reader.

Help students realize that, first and foremost, they should make sure their writing has a strong focus with supporting points and specific details. These changes will make their writing purposeful and help them connect with readers.

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Revising for Organization

After getting all of the right ideas into an essay (and all of the wrong ideas out), students can focus on how those ideas are organized. Organization deals with large-scale structure (beginning, middle, and ending) as well as small-scale structure (order of details and transitions between them). Lead students through the three parts:

  • Have a volunteer read aloud the contrasting beginning examples. Discuss why the first example is dull and the second is interesting. (The first does not catch the reader's interest or provide a focus, and the second does both.)
  • Ask a volunteer to read the contrasting examples of middle paragraphs. Discuss the difference that transitions make in the second one.
  • Have a student read the contrasting examples of ending paragraphs. Discuss why one is weak and the other strong. (The general summary does not package ideas in a way that readers will grasp, but the second ending does.)
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Revising for Voice, Words, and Sentences

Once students have revised for substance (ideas and organization), they are ready to revise for style (voice, words, and sentences). The first two traits deal with what a writer is saying. The next three deal with how a writer is saying it.

Help your students understand that their purpose in writing needs to be clear in their voice, word choice, and sentences. Have a volunteer read the contrasting paragraphs under "Check your purpose." Then ask students to pinpoint specific words, phrases, and sentences that make the purpose clear in the second example.

Afterward, have a volunteer read aloud the contrasting examples under "Check your energy and enthusiasm." Ask students to pick out the specific nouns, active verbs, and colorful adjectives in the second example

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Revising in Action

Use this page to help students understand that revising is messy. It's about making major improvements, so it results in circled sections with arrows, scratched out bits, and lots of scribbles in margins.

Direct students' attention to each change and the side note that goes with it. Discuss how each change improves the substance (ideas or organization) or the style (voice, word choice, or sentences) of the writing—or both. Also, discuss what effect each change has on the reader.

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Revising Checklist

Ask students to bookmark this page. This checklist can help them revise any formal assignment that they are working on. Let students know that this trait-based revising checklist connects to the trait-based assessment rubric that may be used to grade their work. The checklist also relates to the more specific revising checklists that students will find in each chapter of Write Ahead.

During revision, students should read each question and check it off when they can answer "yes." If the answer is "no," they should keep revising until they can check off the question.

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