Bookmark

Sign up or login to use the bookmarking feature.

05 Revising

Page
039
from
Write for College

Revising Chapter Opener

Start-Up Activity

Introduce this page by conducting a survey.

On a scale of 1 (Never) to 5 (Always), rate each of your writing habits:

  1. I work quickly, getting ideas down without worrying about details.
  2. I can whip through a first draft like it was nothing.
  3. I make many revisions and edits to my drafts.
  4. I write down my thoughts without pausing too much.
  5. I just keep rewriting drafts until I give up.

Students who score 5–10 are "Bashers," hammering out each sentence before moving to the next. Students who score 20–25 are "Swoopers," quickly creating draft after draft. Most students will score 11–19, somewhere in the middle of the two extremes.

Let students know that they can shift their writing and revising habits to be more effective and efficient. This chapter can help.

Think About It

“No one writes as slowly as I do, I'm convinced. It's so hard for me. I learn slowly; I make decisions at a snail's pace.”

—Virginia Euwer Wolff

 

Chapter Opening Downloads: 
File Writing Styles Survey

State Standards Covered in This Chapter

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.5

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.1.A

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.1.B

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.2.A

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.2.B

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.3.A

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.3.B

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.4

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.1.C

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.2.C

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.3.C

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.1.D

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.2.D

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.2.E

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.W.11-12.3.D

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.11-12.1

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.11-12.1.A

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.11-12.1.B

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.11-12.1.C

CCSS.ELA-LITERACY.SL.11-12.1.D

LAFS Covered in This Chapter

LAFS.1112.W.2.5

LAFS.1112.W.1.1

LAFS.1112.W.1.2

LAFS.1112.W.1.3

LAFS.1112.W.2.4

LAFS.1112.SL.1.1

TEKS Covered in This Chapter

110.38.c.9

110.38.c.9.A

110.38.c.9.C

110.38.c.9.D

110.39.c.9

110.39.c.9.A

110.39.c.9.C

110.39.c.9.D

110.38.c.10.C

110.39.c.10.C

110.38.c.5.J

110.39.c.5.J

110.38.c.10.B

110.39.c.10.B

110.38.c.5.C

110.38.c.10.A

110.39.c.10.A

110.38.c.9.B.i

110.39.c.9.B.i

110.38.c.2

110.38.c.5.F

110.38.c.9.B.ii

110.39.c.2

110.39.c.5.F

110.39.c.9.B.ii

110.38.c.1

110.39.c.1

110.38.c.1.D

110.39.c.1.D

110.38.c.1.B

110.39.c.1.B

TEKS Covered in This Chapter

Page 040 from Write for College

Using Basic Revising Guidelines

The material in this chapter works best when students have a first draft to revise.

Present the five strategies at the top of the page. Then have students use the five strategies to revise their first drafts.

Afterward, lead a discussion:

  • Which strategy was most effective? Why?
  • Which strategy was toughest? Why?

Then cover the rapid-revision approach at the bottom of the page. Ask students how these five strategies differ from those above. Ask them to describe situations when they might use the rapid-revision approach.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.2.5
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.9, 110.38.c.9.A, 110.38.c.9.C, 110.38.c.9.D, 110.39.c.9, 110.39.c.9.A, 110.39.c.9.C, 110.39.c.9.D
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1, LA 12.2.1.a, LA 12.2.1.e, LA 12.2.1.f, LA 12.2.1.h

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevising

Page 041 from Write for College

A Closer Look at Revising

Use the top paragraph on this page to promote purposeful revising. Remind students that the point of writing is to communicate something (Subject) to someone (Audience) for a specific reason (Purpose) through a specific form (Type). Revising should focus on making sure that communication takes place.

If a draft has a fundamental problem with any these parts, the writer needs to make changes to escape the "Badlands." Use the instruction on the rest of the page to help students do just that.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.2.5
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.9, 110.38.c.9.A, 110.38.c.9.C, 110.38.c.9.D, 110.39.c.9, 110.39.c.9.A, 110.39.c.9.C, 110.39.c.9.D
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1, LA 12.2.1.a, LA 12.2.1.e, LA 12.2.1.f, LA 12.2.1.h

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevising

Page 042 from Write for College

Making Improvements

Use this page to present the four basic ways to improve a draft:

  • Adding ideas for greater support
  • Moving ideas for better organization
  • Cutting ideas that are off topic or unhelpful
  • Reworking ideas that are unclear

Note how each strategy focuses on the ideas that the writer wants to communicate to the reader. After making these large-scale improvements, students can work to improve the voice, word choice, and sentence fluency of the draft.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.2.5
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.9, 110.38.c.9.A, 110.38.c.9.C, 110.38.c.9.D, 110.39.c.9, 110.39.c.9.A, 110.39.c.9.C, 110.39.c.9.D
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1, LA 12.2.1.a, LA 12.2.1.e, LA 12.2.1.f, LA 12.2.1.h

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevising

Page 043 from Write for College

Revising in Action

Have a volunteer read the first paragraph of the sample as originally written. Then have the person reread the material with the corrections in place. Lead a discussion about how the changes improved the paragraph. Focus on how they made the writer's ideas clearer to the reader.

Ask another volunteer to read the second paragraph in the same way. Continue the process through the rest of the example.

Then have student pairs review the revisions they have made to their first drafts and discuss how each revision improved the writing. Afterward, ask volunteers to share some of their insights about revision.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.2.5
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.9, 110.38.c.9.A, 110.38.c.9.C, 110.38.c.9.D, 110.39.c.9, 110.39.c.9.A, 110.39.c.9.C, 110.39.c.9.D
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1, LA 12.2.1.a, LA 12.2.1.e, LA 12.2.1.f, LA 12.2.1.h

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessWriting

Page 044 from Write for College

Revising for the Traits (Ideas)

This page focuses on revising for the most important trait—ideas. Effective writing is all about communicating ideas from writer to reader, so revisions that improve ideas should come first. Revisions to organization, voice, word choice, and sentences still serve ideas, making sure they are clearly expressed.

The first example focuses on improving the thesis of the piece. The second focuses on strengthening support for the thesis.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.1.1
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.10.C, 110.39.c.10.C, 110.38.c.5.J, 110.39.c.5.J
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1.b, LA 12.2.2.a

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevisingStrong Ideas

Page 045 from Write for College

Revising for Organization

The first example on this page focuses on unity—organization that includes only ideas that support the main point. The paragraph lacks unity because some extraneous ideas should be cut and others should be moved to a different paragraph. Revising for unity will help the reader better understand the writer's point.

The second example focuses on coherence—organization that connects ideas to each other. The use of transition words in the topic sentences creates coherence from one middle paragraph to another. When students revise for coherence, they should use transitions and key words to effectively connect ideas.

Related Minilesson:
State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.1.1
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.10.C, 110.39.c.10.C, 110.38.c.5.J, 110.39.c.5.J
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1.b, LA 12.2.2.a

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevising

Page 046 from Write for College

Revising for Voice

Writing voice is how a person says something. It needs to connect to each part of the communication situation: Purpose, Audience, Subject, and Type.

To introduce the concept of revising for voice, ask for a volunteer to role-play being pulled over for speeding. You will play the part of the police officer:

  • "Do you know why I pulled you over?"
  • "Do you know what the speed limit is here?"
  • "Do you know how fast you were going?"

Let the student answer as if you were a police officer. Then tell the student that you are going to play the role of the person's best friend:

  • "I heard you got pulled over. Why?"
  • "What was the speed limit?"
  • "How fast were you going?"

Let the student answer as if you were a best friend.

Discuss how the student changed voice in order to connect with each audience, adjusting formality, courtesy, language, and emotion. Also, point out that the student was communicating with the officer for one purpose (to avoid a ticket) and with the best friend for another purpose (to get sympathy/express frustration). Let students know that their writing voice also must connect with their audience and purpose.

Related Minilesson:
State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.1.1
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.9.C, 110.39.c.9.C

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevisingEffective Voice

Page 047 from Write for College

Revising for Word Choice

Word choice focuses on specific nouns, active verbs, and clarifying modifiers—words that clearly and succinctly express ideas.

Alert students to the three common problems with word choice: vague words, jargon, and cliches.

Also, show students how word choice strongly affects formality. A single word can tip an expression one way or another: "Karl's friend . . . " is formal, while, "Karl's bestie . . ." is slang.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.1.1
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.10.C, 110.39.c.10.C, 110.38.c.9.C, 110.39.c.9.C
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1.b

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Revising

Page 048 from Write for College

Revising for Sentence Fluency

Sentences carry ideas. When students revise, they should make sure their sentences flow smoothly and suit the ideas in them. Medium-length sentences should carry most ideas, with longer sentences providing greater complexity and shorter sentences punctuating thoughts.

Review with students the three main problems with sentence fluency and the examples of how to fix them.

Related Minilesson:
State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.1.1
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.10.C, 110.39.c.10.C, 110.38.c.9.C, 110.39.c.9.C
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.1.b

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevising

Page 049 from Write for College

Peer Reviewing

Use this page to introduce peer reviewing—having students read and respond to each others' writing. The top paragraph explains the concept, and the rest of the page addresses the emotional hurdles of the process. Writing is very personal: inner thoughts displayed on paper. Having other students read and review writing can make a writer feel very exposed and vulnerable. That's why you should first lay the groundwork to help writers and reviewers get along.

Valuing Feedback: Show writers how peer reviewing improves communication: Other people are on the receiving end of the words, and they will have questions, comments, and insights.

Maintaining Good Relations: To be constructive, comments should respect the writer, focus on the writing, identify specific things that work, suggest specific improvements, and create a cooperative community of writers.

The next page provides specific guidelines for peer-review sessions.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.SL.1.1
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.1, 110.39.c.1
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.3.1, LA 12.3.3.a

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
RevisingWriting Process

Page 051 from Write for College

Checklist: Peer Reviewing

Provide students the checklist on this page to help guide reviewing sessions. Note that this checklist also can help students better revise their own works.

Use the material in the box at the bottom to give student responders more insights into their work. On the next page, you'll find even more in-depth support for responses.

Downloads:
State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.2.4
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.9, 110.39.c.9
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.2

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing ProcessRevising

Page 052 from Write for College

A Closer Look at Reviewing with the Traits

Use this page as scaffolding for peer responders who are unsure how to form constructive criticism. Review the material with these students and ask them to use one or more of these response starters during their next peer review session. Afterward, meet with the students and ask which starters were most helpful and why. Encourage them to experiment with different starters during their next review sessions.

State Standard Reference:
LAFS Standard:
LAFS.1112.W.2.4
TEKS Standard:
110.38.c.9, 110.39.c.9
NE ELA Standard:
LA 12.2.2

Related Resource Tags

Click to view a list of tags that tie into other resources on our site

Level:
Grade 11Grade 12
Mode:
Writing Basics
English Language Arts:
Writing Process