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Student Writing Model
H’s Hickory Chips
Karen, in eleventh grade, shares the details of a Saturday spent working for her family’s business. Her descriptions bring the subject to life, and her ending tells the reader why this work is important to her.
Student Writing Model
Anticipating the Dream
Michelle (grade 11) develops this eyewitness account by answering the “5 W’s and H” about her parents becoming American citizens. The writer also shares her sensory impressions.
Student Writing Model
From Bed Bound to Breaking Boards
In this profile of a person, tenth-grade writer Rachel remains focused on an affliction that affects, but never defines, her subject's young life. Rachel engages her readers with direct quotations and plenty of interesting details.
Student Writing Model
Student Entrepreneur Reaches for Dreams of the Sky
Tenth-grade writer Julie develops her report with plenty of information and quotations from her subject, T. McDowell. Readers get a clear picture of McDowell’s determined business sense as well as his dreams for the future.
Student Writing Model
Mosquito Madness
When writing about pet peeves, you can react humorously or analytically to a common, everyday annoyance. Katie, the writer of this essay, tries to be sensible and analytical about the mosquito in her bedroom but becomes (in her own words) “like a crazed wind turbine.” Watch for a second simile that works very well in this piece. Also notice how the writer feels about the breeze in the first paragraph and how her feelings have changed by the sixth paragraph—this change shows how stressed she has become.
Student Writing Model
The House on Medford Avenue
Ninth-grader Samantha’s assignment for this essay was to write a series of vignettes, loosely modeled on the novel The House on Mango Street, about her own house, neighborhood, family, and friends.
Student Writing Model
Mama’s Stitches
This poem addresses domestic violence. If you prefer not to read about that subject, please continue to the next model. Twelfth-grade writer Jessica’s words paint memorable images; her lines present realism without the aura of shame or blame.
Student Writing Model
The KHS Press
In this model, a dialogue develops between a number of students and their advisor for the school newspaper. Notice how the dialogue takes on a lighthearted tone; it was based on actual conversation. As you begin to write your own dialogue, model it after conversations you have heard. This will help you create dialogue that sounds natural and reveals the personalities of your characters.
Student Writing Model
Huddling Together
David deftly interweaves past events that lead up to the football game with the present events of the game itself. The author’s voice comes through loud and clear in the dialogue and in his new-found zeal for football.
Student Writing Model
Save the Elephants
This essay opens with a brief explanation of a case in which a herd of elephants is spared from death, but then goes on to explain how that is not typical—that, in fact, elephants are headed toward extinction. Michelle, the author, clearly establishes the main causes and effects of the problem before suggesting possible solutions.
Student Writing Model
If Only They Knew
The author of this essay shares a personal struggle against the backdrops of two different schools and the friends at each school. The strong conclusion neatly sums up the lessons she learned from dealing with her illness and offers a positive ending.
Student Writing Model
Diary of Gaspard
For her history class, Samantha created an entry for the diary of a character from A Tale of Two Cities. She focuses on a pivotal event in his life and imagines what it must have been like for him.
Student Writing Model
Mid-Project Report on History Paper
Danielle, the writer of this email, presents a clear, organized message. The beginning states the email's purpose, the middle provides the necessary details, and the ending explains what happens next.
Student Writing Model
Vegetarian Lunch Options at Bay High
Karin, the email writer, speaks knowledgeably and sincerely as she presents a reasonable, thoughtful request.