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The Broken Statue

Assessment Model Print

Good Personal Narrative

In this personal narrative, a student uses colorful words and strong action verbs to describe a moment of trouble.

Title: The Broken Statue

Level: Grade 4, Grade 5

Mode: Narrative Writing

Form: Personal Narrative

Completed Rubric: The Broken Statue Rubric

Blank Rubric: Narrative Rubric

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Strong:
Good:
The Broken Statue
Poor:

Student Model

The Broken Statue

One humid afternoon my sister and I were playing tag in the house. My parents were out having dinner, and our Grandma was in the back room. My sister was “it”. She was right behind me in hot pursuit. The sun was going down, casting shades of pink and purple through the windows. I galloped through the den, and frolicked down the hall. At the end of the hall, the sun went down and I couldn’t see anything I ran blindly until I crashed into something, setting off a chain reaction which ended with a loud CRASH. I jumped up and flipped on the hallway light so I could see what had happened. I reluctantly turned around. What I saw made my eyes almost pop out. I had broken my mom’s prize porcelain statue!

“I am going to be in big trouble!” I said sadly. I retrieved a broom from the garage and swept up the remains of the broken statue. My parents would be home any minute now. I thought maybe I could glue it back together. That was a failure. It ended up as a big, sticky pile of porcelain and glue. I tried not to let my sister see the damage I had done. But she found out. “I’m going to tell Mom and Dad!” she threatened. Then she mocked, “You’re in big trouble!” But I just proceeded towards the garbage can in the pantry and dumped all the contents of the statue into it.

A few minutes later, I heard DING DONG. “Oh no!” I said. “They’re back.” My sister let my parents in. Grandma appeared down the hall. She came to greet my Mom and Dad. A few moments later, I heard my mom shriek, “Where’s my prize statue?” “I just have to tell her” I said. So I did tell her. She said that I was grounded for two weeks. One week was for playing tag in the house the second week was for breaking the statue. Then she said thanks for telling the truth. And that was the day I got in trouble.

Rubric

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