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Student Writing Model
Limadastrin
A response to literature can take many forms other than a book report. Sixth-grader Mark decided to respond in a poem patterned after the poetry he read in the Redwall series of fantasy books. (These stories are about peace-loving small animals who exhibit human characteristics in a medieval setting, facing day-to-day struggles of good versus evil, life versus death.) The author of the Redwall books never mentions where the “Badger lords” come from, so Mark created this fictional place called Limadastrin and describes how one would find it.
Student Writing Model
A Cowboy's Journal
Eighth grader Shelley imagines she is a cowboy in the old West as she writes this journal entry. She includes historical details that add a realistic touch to the writing.
Student Writing Model
Hang Up and Drive
A surprise comparison opens this editorial by eighth grade student Jessie, drawing readers in. Her position on the subject becomes evident early in the essay.
Student Writing Model
What Really Matters
In this feature article, eighth grader Irené informs the reader about spina bifida as she highlights the achievements of a classmate who has the condition. Quotations from the classmate add a personal side to the writing.
Student Writing Model
Linden’s Library
This model is based on an original story submitted by Elise, a sixth-grade writer. Note how she uses dialogue and details to bring her characters to life.
Student Writing Model
How the Stars Came to Be
Sixth-grade student Laura wrote this fantasy in which the “storybook” voice sets the tone appropriately.
Student Writing Model
The Call
Seventh-grade poet Brittany invites her readers to share in a real experience.
Student Writing Model
My Backyard
Kevin, the sixth-grade author of this poem, effectively uses personification to paint a vivid picture of his backyard.
Student Writing Model
I Am Latvia
The author’s approach to this report is fresh and original; speaking as the country makes the paper very readable.
Student Writing Model
The Aloha State
The details in this report are presented in an organized manner, and the writer’s strong feelings for Hawaii come through in her writing voice.
Student Writing Model
The Incredible Egg
Hannah’s seventh-grade science class tried an experiment involving an egg, vinegar, corn syrup, and water. Her observations include not only the outcomes of the different steps in the procedure, but also her personal reactions to the experiment.
Student Writing Model
Dear Dr. Larson
This email query is clear, organized, accurate, and engaging. The author gets right to the point—always a good practice in business writing.
Student Writing Model
The Boy with Chris Pine Blue Eyes
Tenth-grader Lisa’s voice comes through loud and clear in this model. The use of strong details and dialogue—including the author “talking” to herself—makes this a believable essay about a student’s first high school crush.
Student Writing Model
Take Me to Casablanca
The 9th-grade writer of this personal narrative, Emily, uses original word choice to effectively convey a vivid image of the people and environment she encountered on a trip to Africa. The opening paragraphs communicate a sense of excitement that, by the end of the trip, is reduced to disappointment, shock, and guilt.
Student Writing Model
My Greatest Instrument
Lindsey, an adult who uses public speaking in her career, reflects on the childhood experiences that prepared her for success.
Student Writing Model
Snapshots
Before Facebook, Snapchat, and Pinterest allowed us to gather and store images digitally, students kept their memories in photo albums and even shoeboxes. In this historic model, Alita writes about her shoebox collection of memories. Vivid details recreate the feeling of thumbing through pictures.
Student Writing Model
H’s Hickory Chips
Karen, in eleventh grade, shares the details of a Saturday spent working for her family’s business. Her descriptions bring the subject to life, and her ending tells the reader why this work is important to her.
Student Writing Model
Anticipating the Dream
Michelle (grade 11) develops this eyewitness account by answering the “5 W’s and H” about her parents becoming American citizens. The writer also shares her sensory impressions.
Student Writing Model
From Bed Bound to Breaking Boards
In this profile of a person, tenth-grade writer Rachel remains focused on an affliction that affects, but never defines, her subject's young life. Rachel engages her readers with direct quotations and plenty of interesting details.
Student Writing Model
Student Entrepreneur Reaches for Dreams of the Sky
Tenth-grade writer Julie develops her report with plenty of information and quotations from her subject, T. McDowell. Readers get a clear picture of McDowell’s determined business sense as well as his dreams for the future.
Student Writing Model
Mosquito Madness
When writing about pet peeves, you can react humorously or analytically to a common, everyday annoyance. Katie, the writer of this essay, tries to be sensible and analytical about the mosquito in her bedroom but becomes (in her own words) “like a crazed wind turbine.” Watch for a second simile that works very well in this piece. Also notice how the writer feels about the breeze in the first paragraph and how her feelings have changed by the sixth paragraph—this change shows how stressed she has become.
Student Writing Model
The House on Medford Avenue
Ninth-grader Samantha’s assignment for this essay was to write a series of vignettes, loosely modeled on the novel The House on Mango Street, about her own house, neighborhood, family, and friends.
Student Writing Model
Mama’s Stitches
This poem addresses domestic violence. If you prefer not to read about that subject, please continue to the next model. Twelfth-grade writer Jessica’s words paint memorable images; her lines present realism without the aura of shame or blame.
Student Writing Model
The KHS Press
In this model, a dialogue develops between a number of students and their advisor for the school newspaper. Notice how the dialogue takes on a lighthearted tone; it was based on actual conversation. As you begin to write your own dialogue, model it after conversations you have heard. This will help you create dialogue that sounds natural and reveals the personalities of your characters.