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What Education Means

Assessment Model Print

Poor Personal Essay

This poor personal essay responds to a college-entrance prompt. The ideas are largely negative and underdeveloped, which will not encourage the college representative to score the response highly.

Title: What Education Means

Level: Grade 11, Grade 12

Mode: Narrative Writing

Form: Personal Essay

Completed Rubric: What Education Means

Blank Rubric: Assessment Rubric for Narratives

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What Education Means

Student Model

College-entrance prompt: Education shapes all of us. What educational experiences have shaped you most strongly? Write a personal essay about how education has shaped you, using specific experiences as examples.

 

What Education Means

Education has shaped me because I haven't been out of a classroom for 13 years. That's a long time. If an adult was at the same job for 13 years, they'd get a pension. What did I get? A piece of paper that says congradulations for lasting for 13 years. Now you've got to last four more and pay for it.

Education teaches you to sit still and do what you are told. That's shaped me. I used to run around all the time and do whatever I want, but now I sit still and do what I am told.

Education is like a big game. You have to learn the rules and play by them. Some people work so hard to win the game. Then they just go on to another game they try to win. It's just game after game. I play the game like anybody but I don't try to win because so what you won.

I have had a lot of good teachers and a lot of bad teachers. That's what education teaches you. You'll have good bosses and bad bosses, but I guess you'll always have a boss of some kind.

One of my teachers has a poster of a cabin by a lake and says, "Wouldn't you like to just go live in a cabin away from it all?" Sure, but that cabin probably costs $500,000. Where are you going to get that? Not by teaching.

Rubric

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