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Student Writing Model
Jet Bikes
Fifth-grader Ethan moves the reader smoothly through his personal narrative with transition words like first, then, also, so far, and when.
Student Writing Model
My Dad
Dylan, a second-grade writer, shares his very personal feelings in an honest, direct way. His first and last sentences tell the whole story; and the middle sentences give the reader important, heartfelt details about Dylan’s experience.
Student Writing Model
My Trip to Mexico
Many details are included in this writing, and a personal tone emerges. The piece has a clear beginning, middle, and ending.
Student Writing Model
A Happy Day
This writing shows the feelings of the writer and is well organized.
Student Writing Model
The Horrible Day
This is a fun story with lots of details.
Student Writing Model
The Sled Run
This author brings excitement to her story when she paints a picture of her friend sprawled like a spider.
Student Writing Model
The Funny Dance
The writer’s descriptions in this narrative make it a vivid and memorable story.
Student Writing Model
Ann
Kendra, a fourth grader, submitted this model in which she shares a very personal experience.
Student Writing Model
Indy’s Life Story
Elliot, a fifth grader, submitted the model that this narrative is based on. Elliot shares the details of his personal experience in chronological order, just as they happened. He ends his narrative with good feelings about his dog.
Student Writing Model
Giving Life
This is a very moving narrative about a difficult experience. Sharing what she learned from this friendship makes an effective conclusion.
Student Writing Model
The Great Paw Paw
Charlotte, the seventh-grade writer of this model, organizes her essay into paragraphs that describe different aspects of her subject. The closing leaves the reader with a clear idea of the important place her grandfather holds in her memory.
Student Writing Model
The Boy with Chris Pine Blue Eyes
Tenth-grader Lisa’s voice comes through loud and clear in this model. The use of strong details and dialogue—including the author “talking” to herself—makes this a believable essay about a student’s first high school crush.
Student Writing Model
Take Me to Casablanca
The 9th-grade writer of this personal narrative, Emily, uses original word choice to effectively convey a vivid image of the people and environment she encountered on a trip to Africa. The opening paragraphs communicate a sense of excitement that, by the end of the trip, is reduced to disappointment, shock, and guilt.
Student Writing Model
My Greatest Instrument
Lindsey, an adult who uses public speaking in her career, reflects on the childhood experiences that prepared her for success.
Student Writing Model
Snapshots
Before Facebook, Snapchat, and Pinterest allowed us to gather and store images digitally, students kept their memories in photo albums and even shoeboxes. In this historic model, Alita writes about her shoebox collection of memories. Vivid details recreate the feeling of thumbing through pictures.
Student Writing Model
H’s Hickory Chips
Karen, in eleventh grade, shares the details of a Saturday spent working for her family’s business. Her descriptions bring the subject to life, and her ending tells the reader why this work is important to her.
Student Writing Model
Anticipating the Dream
Michelle (grade 11) develops this eyewitness account by answering the “5 W’s and H” about her parents becoming American citizens. The writer also shares her sensory impressions.
Student Writing Model
The House on Medford Avenue
Ninth-grader Samantha’s assignment for this essay was to write a series of vignettes, loosely modeled on the novel The House on Mango Street, about her own house, neighborhood, family, and friends.
Student Writing Model
Huddling Together
David deftly interweaves past events that lead up to the football game with the present events of the game itself. The author’s voice comes through loud and clear in the dialogue and in his new-found zeal for football.
Student Writing Model
Grandpa, Chaz, and Me
Cody, a fourth grader, writes about his wish that his little brother could have known their grandfather.
Student Writing Model
The Day I Took the Spotlight
Fifth-grader Kelli begins this personal narrative with a question that captures the reader’s interest.
Student Writing Model
It’s a Boy!
This model recounts an embarrassing public experience that provided the writer with new insight into teen pregnancy, single parenthood, and social stigmas. The voice of the piece shows the writer's personality and easily connects with readers. Many vivid details make the experience come to life.
Student Writing Model
The Climb
Amy, the author of this personal narrative, effectively uses voice to convey the fear she feels as she ascends a path to an area above a 100-ft. waterfall. Her expert choice of words helps to paint a beautiful picture of her surroundings.
Student Writing Model
The Racist Warehouse
This personal narrative by eighth-grader Alicia presents an engaging voice. Read the essay and notice how Alicia’s personality comes through; she obviously cares about her subject. Her use of details gives the reader a clear picture of the characters and environment in this account of Alicia’s first encounter with racism.