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Responding

When you work in a group, nearly everything you say and do is a response to what someone else has said or done. First, you hear others’ statements or observe their behavior. Second, you take a moment to think about the ways you could respond. Third, you choose your response.

■ Think before responding.

Someone may say something you disagree with: “Taylor Swift makes terrible music.” Before you knew about group skills, you might have responded by saying, “Yeah, well, you’re terrible.” If you respond in this way, you’ve launched a name-calling session instead of a discussion.

Instead, you can choose how you will respond. You can avoid an argument altogether by saying, “We’ll have to agree to disagree on that one.” Or you can look for details by asking, “What about her music is terrible?” Or you can seek clarification by asking, “What do you mean by ‘terrible’?” After trying to answer the questions, the speaker’s opinion might change—or yours might.