Revising Application Letters
Once you finish a first draft of your application letter, set it aside for awhile. When you return to it, you can see it with a fresh perspective. When you revise, you look at your essay from your reader's point of view to make sure your writing includes a proper tone and effective details. These activities will help you revise.
Revising for Level of Interest
In a letter of application, you should express a clear interest in a special opportunity. To show the proper level of interest, share what you know about the opportunity and give details about yourself. However, too much contrived enthusiasm or too little interest will reflect poorly on you. The following passages come from a letter of application to an elite soccer camp. Each shows a different level of interest.
I saw the ad for your camp. I thought about being a goalie. Maybe I could come to your camp.
(The writer does not sound interested and does not include specific details.)