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Student Writing Model
Mosquito Madness
When writing about pet peeves, you can react humorously or analytically to a common, everyday annoyance. Katie, the writer of this essay, tries to be sensible and analytical about the mosquito in her bedroom but becomes (in her own words) “like a crazed wind turbine.” Watch for a second simile that works very well in this piece. Also notice how the writer feels about the breeze in the first paragraph and how her feelings have changed by the sixth paragraph—this change shows how stressed she has become.
Student Writing Model
Student Entrepreneur Reaches for Dreams of the Sky
Tenth-grade writer Julie develops her report with plenty of information and quotations from her subject, T. McDowell. Readers get a clear picture of McDowell’s determined business sense as well as his dreams for the future.
Student Writing Model
From Bed Bound to Breaking Boards
In this profile of a person, tenth-grade writer Rachel remains focused on an affliction that affects, but never defines, her subject's young life. Rachel engages her readers with direct quotations and plenty of interesting details.
Student Writing Model
Rosa Parks
This historical profile presents accurate information about a famous person and is written in an active, lively manner. Alita, the writer, immersed herself in the life of Rosa Parks until she could “feel” the person and events. She found ways to communicate these feelings to readers.
Student Writing Model
Anticipating the Dream
Michelle (grade 11) develops this eyewitness account by answering the “5 W’s and H” about her parents becoming American citizens. The writer also shares her sensory impressions.
Student Writing Model
Internet Plagiarism
Dan writes a problem-solution essay that focuses on one of the great temptations of the digital age: stealing intellectual property via the Internet. The essay begins by explaining the problem in detail and then shifts to recommending a set of solutions.
Student Writing Model
H’s Hickory Chips
Karen, in eleventh grade, shares the details of a Saturday spent working for her family’s business. Her descriptions bring the subject to life, and her ending tells the reader why this work is important to her.
Student Writing Model
Snapshots
Before Facebook, Snapchat, and Pinterest allowed us to gather and store images digitally, students kept their memories in photo albums and even shoeboxes. In this historic model, Alita writes about her shoebox collection of memories. Vivid details recreate the feeling of thumbing through pictures.
Student Writing Model
My Greatest Instrument
Lindsey, an adult who uses public speaking in her career, reflects on the childhood experiences that prepared her for success.
Student Writing Model
Take Me to Casablanca
The 9th-grade writer of this personal narrative, Emily, uses original word choice to effectively convey a vivid image of the people and environment she encountered on a trip to Africa. The opening paragraphs communicate a sense of excitement that, by the end of the trip, is reduced to disappointment, shock, and guilt.
Student Writing Model
It’s a Boy!
This model recounts an embarrassing public experience that provided the writer with new insight into teen pregnancy, single parenthood, and social stigmas. The voice of the piece shows the writer's personality and easily connects with readers. Many vivid details make the experience come to life.
Student Writing Model
The Boy with Chris Pine Blue Eyes
Tenth-grader Lisa’s voice comes through loud and clear in this model. The use of strong details and dialogue—including the author “talking” to herself—makes this a believable essay about a student’s first high school crush.
Student Writing Model
Caught in the Net
Kim’s essay uses narration and definition to focus on Internet addiction. This essay predates Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Skype, and smart phones. How has our definition of Internet addiction changed?
Student Writing Model
The Climb
Amy, the author of this personal narrative, effectively uses voice to convey the fear she feels as she ascends a path to an area above a 100-ft. waterfall. Her expert choice of words helps to paint a beautiful picture of her surroundings.
Student Writing Model
Dear Dr. Larson
This email query is clear, organized, accurate, and engaging. The author gets right to the point—always a good practice in business writing.
Student Writing Model
The Incredible Egg
Hannah’s seventh-grade science class tried an experiment involving an egg, vinegar, corn syrup, and water. Her observations include not only the outcomes of the different steps in the procedure, but also her personal reactions to the experiment.
Student Writing Model
Unique Wolves
Sixth-grader Bryan wrote this report after visiting a wolf park in Battle Ground, Indiana.
Student Writing Model
The Aloha State
The details in this report are presented in an organized manner, and the writer’s strong feelings for Hawaii come through in her writing voice.
Student Writing Model
I Am Latvia
The author’s approach to this report is fresh and original; speaking as the country makes the paper very readable.
Student Writing Model
Mir Pushed the Frontier of Space
This report is clearly focused around a specific thesis. It is evident from the writer’s voice that he is interested in and knowledgeable about the topic.
Student Writing Model
My Backyard
Kevin, the sixth-grade author of this poem, effectively uses personification to paint a vivid picture of his backyard.
Student Writing Model
The Call
Seventh-grade poet Brittany invites her readers to share in a real experience.
Student Writing Model
How the Stars Came to Be
Sixth-grade student Laura wrote this fantasy in which the “storybook” voice sets the tone appropriately.
Student Writing Model
Linden’s Library
This model is based on an original story submitted by Elise, a sixth-grade writer. Note how she uses dialogue and details to bring her characters to life.