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Tenth-grader Lisa’s voice comes through loud and clear in this model. The use of strong details and dialogue—including the author “talking” to herself—makes this a believable essay about a student’s first high school crush.

The 9th-grade writer of this personal narrative, Emily, uses original word choice to effectively convey a vivid image of the people and environment she encountered on a trip to Africa. The opening paragraphs communicate a sense of excitement that, by the end of the trip, is reduced to disappointment, shock, and guilt.

Lindsey, an adult who uses public speaking in her career, reflects on the childhood experiences that prepared her for success.

Before Facebook, Snapchat, and Pinterest allowed us to gather and store images digitally, students kept their memories in photo albums and even shoeboxes. In this historic model, Alita writes about her shoebox collection of memories. Vivid details recreate the feeling of thumbing through pictures.

Karen, in eleventh grade, shares the details of a Saturday spent working for her family’s business. Her descriptions bring the subject to life, and her ending tells the reader why this work is important to her.

Michelle (grade 11) develops this eyewitness account by answering the “5 W’s and H” about her parents becoming American citizens. The writer also shares her sensory impressions.

In this profile of a person, tenth-grade writer Rachel remains focused on an affliction that affects, but never defines, her subject's young life. Rachel engages her readers with direct quotations and plenty of interesting details.

Tenth-grade writer Julie develops her report with plenty of information and quotations from her subject, T. McDowell. Readers get a clear picture of McDowell’s determined business sense as well as his dreams for the future.

When writing about pet peeves, you can react humorously or analytically to a common, everyday annoyance. Katie, the writer of this essay, tries to be sensible and analytical about the mosquito in her bedroom but becomes (in her own words) “like a crazed wind turbine.” Watch for a second simile that works very well in this piece. Also notice how the writer feels about the breeze in the first paragraph and how her feelings have changed by the sixth paragraph—this change shows how stressed she has become.

Ninth-grader Samantha’s assignment for this essay was to write a series of vignettes, loosely modeled on the novel The House on Mango Street, about her own house, neighborhood, family, and friends.

This poem addresses domestic violence. If you prefer not to read about that subject, please continue to the next model. Twelfth-grade writer Jessica’s words paint memorable images; her lines present realism without the aura of shame or blame.

In this model, a dialogue develops between a number of students and their advisor for the school newspaper. Notice how the dialogue takes on a lighthearted tone; it was based on actual conversation. As you begin to write your own dialogue, model it after conversations you have heard. This will help you create dialogue that sounds natural and reveals the personalities of your characters.